I’ve always wondered what I would tell myself if I ever met a younger me in a time-warp type situation. Not like those time traveling scenarios occur often, rather never have occurred in the history of humanity; but if they did, and I was fortunate enough to experience it, I would definitely have some words to say to the young Joanne, wondering life aimlessly, trying to figure it all out.
This is not meant to be a downer post, but I can’t help but expose some of the weaker sides of what makes my current me. My history, my past, all merging into the person I am today. The easy going experiences, the care free spirited youngster and those heart retching episodes that tested me over and over again. There is beauty in all of it.
Growing up to become what you envisioned you would be is such a challenge. With the thousand emotions, hormones, ideas and dreams you will experience in your lifetime, knowing when to focus can be daunting.
So, to make this poignant, I would offer – okay, maybe not offer but give without asking- the following advise to the younger me:
- Help yourself before others: it’s OK to be self-centered sometimes. Most times. Because you cannot offer help when you have nothing good to offer. Being selfish is not anti-religious, like some of your mentors right now make you believe. Be good to you first, and I know this is such a difficult concept to grasp because you don’t know yet how to feel real good, but something as simple as have a bite of that sandwich before you give it up can be a start.
- Trust the system and go with the flow: let things happen organically. Onganiwhat? yeah, organically, as in the way things are meant to be. You must fight for what you want – don’t change that- but when things don’t happen the way you want them to happen, step back and ride the wave. It will lead you to great, unexpected things, and if it doesn’t, you can curse at me when you’re my age.
- Use sunscreen and don’t lay flat under the sun, at the beach, or at the pool with canola oil spread all over your body: yeah, it think that says it all. Just. Don’t. Do. It.
- Remove the following phrases from your vocabulary: “I can’t”, “it’s too hard”, “why me??”, “it’s unfair”. Because YOU CAN, even if nobody tells you everyday; you were born with everything you need to create, do and excel. Because it’s never TOO HARD for your brain to figure out how to make it easier -and because you are only given what you can actually handle, no more no less. Because WHY THE HELL NOT YOU? you gotta go through the shit to get to the pearl, oh wait, that is you have to go through the muddy sand, to get the hard oyster shell, to crack it while bending your arm to open it, and then admire the pearl. And finally because fairness is in the eye of the beholder, it is a two way street and resentment can be a nasty, sick pal to call your BFF-and-ever.
- Wear that bikini: believe me, you are gorgeous and your body is the dream of others. Don’t mind that your thighs are bigger than the rest of your body, and your boobs are not big enough to fill the triangular top. F*** everyone. Yes, f***. You should say that word often, to help you snap out of your rummaging ideas. Go enjoy the warm waters of the pacific, or dive into that pool and let your top fall down for an embarrassing moment. Those are the memories you will cherish more than the regret of wearing a one piece and covering your ass every time you stood up to adjust your wedgie.
- And lastly, speak UP, ask BIG: don’t wait until it’s too late to say what you mean, what you want, how you want it. Use a positive spin to influence others, pay attention to their body language and ASK BIG, EXPECT BIG. Many things are given to others because they ask, they spoke. Stop being mousy with what you want, and most importantly, stop thinking that your ideas are ostentatious, pretentious. There is nothing too grandiose that cannot come to fruition with the right attitude and at the right time (remember the wave?). I want you to cry hard and loud so that the milk feeds you first before it runs out.
Until the next one~
The Minimal Sisters